Eat Your Brains: Ask a Zombie - Vol 2

This edition of Ask as Zombie comes from Brie (not the cheese) from Wisconsin dairy land. Are we sure she's not the cheese? She asks a food related question:

Hey Zed,

I'm a pretty good cook and I was wondering if there was something else Zombies will eat besides brains that I can use to distract the Zombies from eating my brains, like delicious bacon?


This is an astute collection. And despite opinions to the contrary there is something you can eat to repel Zombies. Now my fellow legions of undead may get angry as I "reveal" the secrets, but I offered to help humans and Zombies alike, so I must do my solemn duty.

Just as the vampire hates garlic, Zombies have a particular abhorrence to a subset of grub: fatty foods. That's right the higher the calories, the more we hate them. You should just eat all the fatty, high carb, low nutrient food stuffs you can get your hands on. Junk food: Hate it!

To be safe, you should constantly be stuffing your gullet with all kinds of fatty foods. And while you're at it, I would quit any kind of exercise program you might be doing it.

Let me tell you that there is nothing that will get rid of Zombies at your door quicker than to see an overweight slow moving out of shape human plodding away from them.

Hope that helps! If you'd like I'd be happy to send some Hostess products your way. Feel free to respond back with your personal address and the times when you're least productive, like sleeping, so I know... when not to come by because I'd hate to be repelled by your lack of energy and not give you delicious cakes. Yeah.


That's it for this edition of "Ask a Zombie", feel free to sent your questions / comments by clicking the Contact link on the left. I've gotten some feedback on the codes not working right when trying to submit. If you have that problem, leave me a comment and I'll work on finding a better solution. In the meantime, I've heard refreshing will eventually get it to work. Until next time!